Today didn't go as well as planned :( I had about 600 calories of liquid!! That's way too much.
The thing is, I play classical piano and when you're at my level (advanced, i'm college entry now) it's nearly impossible to play on a low calorie liquid fast. And I'm going to NY in a week for it and have to play really well, as well as possible.
And tonight i had a lesson, and I had absolutly NO strength in my hands to play. So I had like 2 extra glasses of juice.
Hopefully though it doesn't ruin my day. I'm really hoping it doesn't ruin it and I get all fat. 600 calories is just WAY too much.
in other news, after thursday night I won't see The Boyfriend until July 12. I'm really depressed about this. It's because we're both going out of town for different things and he's leaving and then I'm leaving and when he comes back I'll still be gone :/ So I'm pretty depressed about it.
But I'm not going to let it ruin the remaining time I have with him!
After July 12 we'll only have a little less than a month to spend with each other before he moves to Kansas for college. I'm really depressed about this, I really feel insecure about it. I feel like we're going to break up because of it.
And when I come back July 12 at least ten pounds thinner he's going to be so angry :( I don't really know what will happen to us because of it. The thing is, I NEED to lose this weight! If I don't, I don't know how I'll even be able to live with myself. Seriously.
So I'm pretty much at a draw. The next month is going to be so tumultous for me, but at least I'll be moving (not sure if I'll be moving forward or backward. either is better than staying stagnant.)
I'm rereading Wintergirls. I love this book so much.
I'm getting off. I love you all.