:(

last night's binge now has me at...well way more pounds than i was yesterday.

fuck.
okay you know what? that's all right. i'm still less than what i was on wednesday (phew!) and i'm going to the gym for at least 2 hours right this second.
i'll be under 115 again soon enough, hopefully i'll hit 114 by sunday like i hoped.

in other news, my grandparents from Illinois are visiting here and we're going out to lunch today together. gulp. eating out is my downfall, ladies, i always do SOMETHING stupid to ruin what i've got going for myself.

hopefully the gym will keep me from doing this. i'm tired of being bulimic, i'm craving anorexia so bad right now it's not even funny.
well what are you waiting for?
i'm waiting for absolutely nothing. at least my binges are getting smaller and smaller, at least the voice hasn't gone away completely.
yet.
it won't though, it really won't. anorexia will never completely leave me. i can find it again. i'm not afraid of bones.

hell, i bought a SCALE!

anyway. gym for 2 hours, hopefully i burn some serious megacalories.
like 1000.
no i'm not going exercise bulimic i swear...

xx
Sasha