i had a 3500 calorie binge last night - totally freaked out because i felt like i was going to have a heart attack and woke mom and dad up and told them everything. it was about 1 in the morning. of course, this morning i regretted telling them and i was ashamed at myself for getting frightened. but they're getting me help...
i think this actually might not be that bad.
i binged again tonight, just because...well i don't know why. but i finally decided i am not going to act like that anymore, i'm not going to let myself lose control like that. i need to get better, to resolve.... i've lost 16 pounds and i'll be gaining about 4 of them back but i don't really mind i don't think.
i just want to be happy again.
i'm taking a year off college and going to get into massage therapy school, come out with a credential, and i think i'm excited.
but yeah. i'm starting to have to eat 1500 calories a day... it'll be really tough. will you guys hang in there with me?