Last night was amazing though. I have been in love with my ex for five years, we started dating a year and a month ago, and we broke up in February. I love him with all my heart. He spent the night last night (with other friends too) and we ended up sleeping next to each other. He thought I was asleep (I wasn't, duh) and started to stroke my hair. I seriously just almost wet myself because I was so happy. I snuggled onto his chest (it was involuntary - i had no choice, it felt like I was being pulled in magnetically) and he stroked my arm and we stayed like that for two hours. I could feel him stroking my ribs, and I was so proud that he could feel them. I knew he could, because they sorta stick out (it's the one thing I've always liked about my body). He kissed the top of my forehead and I just smiled till 5:30 AM.
He obviously is still in love with me. I'm so giddy. It was like that feeling when you drink four cups of coffee and nothing else, you get that flutter in your chest and you can't help but feel... Sexy, powerful, like you own the world.
I know, I'm so mushy, or dramatic. But you really don't understand how much I love him. He truly makes me feel like I'm worth something. The only thing besides anorexia.
The only thing that sucks is he thinks I was asleep during this whole episode, so he doesn't even know that I know we were snuggling all night. So that's kinda disappointing. But Honestly, i haven't been that happy in forever.
It was a wonderful way to ring in the new year. Of course, there was food galore here and I binged and ate like 20 red vines. Gag. And like 5 chocolates. But I made these resolutions:
1. Stop eating leftover Christmas candy. IT IS NOT OKAY.
2. Make out with my beautiful Ex Boyfriend and steal him forever
3. Kiss my mother every day - she needs it.
4. Boost my self esteem in more ways than just lose weight (Like start doing good deeds, get straight A's, etc.)
but wasn't New Years just great? Love you all,