Friday, January 1, 2010

This is a little romance in my life. (true story)

Thank god it's the New Year. Ugh. ALL WEEK i've been eating up to about 1500 calories a day. There are too many fucking Sees candies and Lindor chocolates and cookies. To make it worse, my mom bought me chocolate soy milk. Ok I love the stuff but right now I do NOT want to be drinking my calories! I'm getting gigantic!

Last night was amazing though. I have been in love with my ex for five years, we started dating a year and a month ago, and we broke up in February. I love him with all my heart. He spent the night last night (with other friends too) and we ended up sleeping next to each other. He thought I was asleep (I wasn't, duh) and started to stroke my hair. I seriously just almost wet myself because I was so happy. I snuggled onto his chest (it was involuntary - i had no choice, it felt like I was being pulled in magnetically) and he stroked my arm and we stayed like that for two hours. I could feel him stroking my ribs, and I was so proud that he could feel them. I knew he could, because they sorta stick out (it's the one thing I've always liked about my body). He kissed the top of my forehead and I just smiled till 5:30 AM.

He obviously is still in love with me. I'm so giddy. It was like that feeling when you drink four cups of coffee and nothing else, you get that flutter in your chest and you can't help but feel... Sexy, powerful, like you own the world.

I know, I'm so mushy, or dramatic. But you really don't understand how much I love him. He truly makes me feel like I'm worth something. The only thing besides anorexia.

The only thing that sucks is he thinks I was asleep during this whole episode, so he doesn't even know that I know we were snuggling all night. So that's kinda disappointing. But Honestly, i haven't been that happy in forever.

It was a wonderful way to ring in the new year. Of course, there was food galore here and I binged and ate like 20 red vines. Gag. And like 5 chocolates. But I made these resolutions:

1. Stop eating leftover Christmas candy. IT IS NOT OKAY.
2. Make out with my beautiful Ex Boyfriend and steal him forever
3. Kiss my mother every day - she needs it.
4. Boost my self esteem in more ways than just lose weight (Like start doing good deeds, get straight A's, etc.)

but wasn't New Years just great? Love you all,

Sasha Roe


Bella said...

New Years' WAS great! And is doing extraordinary things for my self control(how long will it last?)

If you don't stop gushing about this bloke soon, you might find that there are more skinnies than just you chasing him... ;) just joking though. He sounds like sweetheart of the century!

here, have some love and kisses: __________ there it is...

Gaunt Future said...

Thanks, darling!

Same with the self control part - I know for a fact it's definitely helping me keep the binging to a par minimum.
Hopefully it'll last 365 days at least =).