Monday, January 18, 2010

i'm such a fat@$$

so today i just feel extremely bloated and fat. I had a non-fat 12 oz latte, two diet cokes (16 oz cup), and about 8 glasses of water.

then an orange, a couple almonds, 2 red vines, and a chipotle salad bowl (200 cals for the bowl, about 100 for the red vines and almonds, about 100 for the orange). then i had some brussel sprouts (50 calories).

about 550 calories for the day then. but i feel like i ate 10,000. i just feel huge and i look huge and i'm tired of having any fat on my body at all. i have about a two inch gap in between my thighs (at the fattest hip area) but for some reason i see nothing but thunder thighs.

huge huge huge, fat fat fat. i really and sincerely hate myself now. i used to know in my head i was thin, but i was just dissatisfied. i've officially moved over to the "i sincerely know i'm fat" stage of my anorexia. good because i'm more motivated than ever, but bad because i hate myself more than ever.

you can't have your cake and eat it too.

i'm very tired, and very depressed right now, and tired of being depressed.

just logged on to update for you guys!

Sasha Roe

PS. doesn't nicole richie just look amazing?

1 comment:

BlAnCh said...

wow. im sorry, how horrible.
Well, we're all here for you, you'll always be beautiful to us, no matter too fat, too skinny, unhappy, depressed or even perfect.