and that cake is what I had a slice of tonight.>>
god i'm so fucking fat. fatfatfatfatFAT. i had a slice of cake and a fucking huge plate of chinese food tonight at a birthday party. i have no control. my stomach is continuing to expand. i cant stand myself.
and then i have to go take it out on my wonderful boyfriend, who does nothing but pamper and love me. i am the fattest, most undeserving person ever. i can't believe I've been eating so FUCKING MUCH. my weight is creeping up and it's fucking with my fucking life. i hate people, i hate myself, i just don't give a shit anymore. i'm NOT EATING TOMORROW.. and if i do it's because my Parents (the evil ones that create this sort of hell where they police me on my food and feelings. bitches) force me to. i refuse to lose control anymore. i'm going to look like one of those obese girls someday if i eat like this. i will. i see them at school every day, licking lollipops and talking about sex and eating twix peanut butter bars while i sit in the corner and glare at them, either completely jealous that they can be happy with no control or terrified i'll end up like them.
if i eat something, i'll eat everything, so i eat nothing.
i'm sorry, i hate bitching. i HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE BITCH. god i'm stupid for doing it. wait...that's me bitching, again. i'm just going to shut the fuck up now.
happy fucking March 8th, world.