Monday, December 12, 2011

failure day...

I took some uppers today just to feel good. My boyfriend told me if i ever did drugs again that he would dump me. He noticed my elated mood but passed on it as simply some hypomania - which i still get even though i've been taking my mood drugs (or so he thinks. they make me feel stupid.)

Went to a party tonight (alcohol free, kid friendly) and ate a shitton, smoked too much. I don't know what has become of me anymore.

I am 130 pounds and hate it. My boyfriend is having problems getting his "member" up so i can't have any sex to relieve my stress. It makes me feel ugly - what is it about me that doesn't turn him on? He says he appreciates my body, but how can you appreciate something meant to be sexual if you aren't getting a motherfucking boner?

I'm tired... And depressed. I'm going to bed.

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